Day 10: Anything you wish to say to end 2011/start 2012.
I have this love/hate relationship with New Years. It always makes me so nostalgic when TV shows recap all of the events of the year. It makes me feel like time flew by way too quickly and that I didn’t accomplish much over the course of the year. But looking back, 2011 was very eventful for me personally and I did overcome a lot. Hopefully, all of that stuff is in the past now. I love new beginnings and New Years is a symbol of that, at least for me, as cheesy as it sounds. I finally feel like I have some direction in life. I’m pretty optimistic about 2012 and hopefully life will agree with me on that one as the new year goes on :]
Happy early New Year everyone!! Stay safe. Be happy. <3
So I wanted to make my tumblr easier to find since a bunch of people were asking about it earlier this year. But since this one contains a lot of personal entries in addition to my random posts and there was no way for me to password protect specific ones, I decided I would make a new tumblr. I thought now would be a good time to do that since it is a new year. Soooo…if you want to continue seeing all the random reblogs of pictures, quotes and my not so personal thoughts, then follow my new tumblr: http://fuzzypurplepanda.tumblr.com/
I will keep using this one if I want my post to be more like a diary entry. I’m not really the kind of person who likes to keep real diaries. I like that I only have a few people reading my tumblr. I can express my feelings in writing rather than out loud, which I am not very good at. I think I would be a lot less comfortable if anyone and everyone was reading my innermost thoughts.
I’m not sure if this is supposed to be anonymous, but I guess I’ll keep it that way to protect people’s identities and what I have to say to them.
1. I’m so happy I got really close to you this year. Second year living together, but first year we started doing a lot more things together! I can always count on you to be my dinner companion and watch shows together to avoid doing homework. hehe. I love that you’re so smart, but really chill and easygoing! I really miss summer when we had more time to do things besides just food runs, but I’m glad we get to do it again next summer! :]
2. Its completely my fault that we’re not as close as we could be right now. You did something really hurtful to me a few years ago and I guess I’m still trying to get over that. I don’t know why I’m still a bit bitter. Maybe its the fact that you never even noticed what you did. Before that, you were trying really hard to help me out with my problems and I’m really grateful for that. I’m sorry that its just kinda hard for me to tell you stuff, even though you are very trustworthy and an awesome friend.
3. I did everything you wanted me to do and you led me on. I don’t know what I did to you, but its unfair that you just stopped what you were doing this whole time without warning and without telling me why.
4. I get really really frustrated with you because you always complain to me about your bad grades, how you can never find a job or get an internship, but all you do is put in the bare minimum effort and don’t really even try to make yourself stand out. I feel like you’ve been really sheltered growing up and now expect things to just be handed to you. You’re a really good friend though and it makes me sad that you’re so negative about everything. I wish you would just listen more carefully to my advice.
5. I only see you about once or twice a year, but when we get together, its like we never missed a beat. Sometimes I wish I was more like you, just taking your time with school and enjoying all the little things in life. I know that school is tough for you, but I believe in you and know you’ll be doing big things when you hit the real world. I will see you in January, I promise <3
6. Even though I live with you, you’re almost always gone and I feel like I don’t know you as well as I should. I really love cooking and baking with you and I wish we spent more time doing things together.
7. I never thought I’d become this close to you, not in a million years. But you provided me with the outlet, support and advice that I needed to get through the tougher parts of the past few years. I guess it helps that you’re a little more separated from the rest of my friends, but thank you for always making time for me <3
8. I don’t see you nearly as much as I used to since I know you’re busy with new friends and school and such. But I love the fact that its not weird for you to hang out one on one with me. I’m glad that you trust me enough to tell me everything, even if I don’t have much to say back to you. I wish it were as easy for me as it is for you to open up and just let everything out. I know sometimes I’m reluctant to talk about things, but I’m really glad you make me do it :]
9. You’re always so worried about the future; calm down!! Everything will be ok and you have a lot more going for you than a lot of other people. Don’t be so negative! Thank you for being an awesome friend and someone who’s always free to grab lunch/dinner with me and complain about everything :] Thank you for always making me laugh and being so easy to talk to. I’m gonna be sad when you graduate this year :[
10. I hope you’re not still mad at me, but judging from the times we’ve hung out this break, I don’t think you are :] I love you! You are definitely a friend that I owe a lot to for getting me through some things and checking up on me when no one else really knew how to approach me. Thank you for helping me let everything out since know I don’t open up to people easily. I love that you’re always down to go explore new places with me and you always manage to make events happen. You’re the best! <3
Hmmm…if there’s anything I learned this year that sticks out to me, its that its impossible to plan for everything. Life throws you unexpected things left and right and its impossible to see it all coming. The people you meet, who you become close to, all the new things you encounter. I could never have predicted what 2011 had coming for me, the good and the bad. You can try and prepare all you want, but it never turns out quite the way you expect it to. And that’s perfectly ok. Learn from the bad, appreciate the good :]
I feel like my whole year was an adventure and I covered most of it in my previous posts. Although this past week kind of added a whole new twist to it, making my year end on kind of a bad note. Will fill in details when I feel like it. But hopefully this means that 2012 will be a lot better from the very beginning :)
I would say I’ve changed a lot in 2011, maybe for the sheer fact that I had so many ups and downs. At the beginning of the year, I was at a pretty low point. I took getting rejected pretty hard since I had been mentally preparing myself to start over the next year. I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but I guess deep down I wanted it badly enough that it hurt a lot in the end when it didn’t happen. After that, I realized that I exhausted all of my options and the only thing left was to make the most of what I had. I slowly forced myself to let go of things that were out of my control, to cut things and people out of my life that were dragging me down and not respecting me for who I am. I think its a good thing that I wasn’t home for most of summer. In a way, that let me start over too. I got much much closer to my roomies and I love them to death <3 They are what has made this emotional roller coaster bearable. This was also the summer where I finally found someone that was worth my time/heart/brain (lol) and I guess the one thing I do regret about not being home is that I didn’t get to spend more time with him. Maybe things would have turned out differently if I were home. It sucks, but we’ll see what happens with this in 2012. I learned a lot about myself through this year. I decided that I am much more cut out for the work world than school so I’ve focused more on the former, which means it really really sucks to have the major that I have. haha. But I know that most people don’t even end up doing what they studied in school so I’m just gonna let everything fall into place. I still care about school, but I don’t worry about it nearly as much anymore. As my good friend always says, “stop worrying, life finds you”. Looking back, I don’t have any regrets. I am ending 2011 as a very content person, much happier than I was at this time last year. Maybe everything does happen for a reason :)
Might edit this later since I feel like my thoughts are all over the place.
Ahhh forgot to start this. Good thing there are still 10 days left til 2012 :)
Day 1: What has been your most memorable moment in 2011?
Hmmm…I can’t pinpoint a single moment that made my 2011. But I guess its days like yesterday that make me appreciate everything that I have, that make all the bad stuff/worries go away if only for awhile and make me realize that my life really could be a whole lot worse. The spontaneous day trips to new/random places, not worrying about how far/long you’re going for, stopping at random locations that just happen to catch your eye, getting lost in the car, getting lost on hiking trails, trying new restaurants, planning destinations on the spot, not quite knowing where you’re going next, being able to laugh about it the whole way and doing it all with your friends. Its nice to not have to stress about the details once in awhile and just go. Its those moments that I live for.
I am saving this as a procrastination tool for later on :)
EDIT: 12/14/11 time to procrastinate :D
1 - Have you ever been asked out? yes 2 - Where was your default picture taken? its a pic stolen from the internet 3 - What’s your middle name? can’t type chinese on my laptop 4 - Your current relationship status? blehhhhh 5 - Does your crush like you back? actually, yes 6 - What is your current mood? no energy left for my last final :( 7 - What color underwear are you wearing? tmi =P 8 - What color shirt are you wearing? blue 9 - Missing something? homeeeeee 10 - If you could go back in time and change something, what would you do? i always wondered what it would be like had i gone to a different school 11 - If you must be an animal for one day, what? a dog or a bunny. i would be a panda but i don’t wanna be endangered XD 12 - Ever had a near death experience? almost been hit by a car a few times. cuz i’m so tiny. or they hate me D: 13 - Something you do a lot? sleep, eat, walk. yep. 14 - The song stuck in your head? none at the moment 15 - Who did you copy and paste this from? that ho Eddie 16 - Name someone with the same birthday as you? nobody. i’m special :D jk. but not really. 17 - When was the last time you cried? August or September. can’t remember which. 18 - Have you ever sung in front of a large audience? when i was a kid 19 - If you could have one super power what would it be? teleportation or flying 20 - What’s the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? how cute they are :3 21 - What do you usually order from Starbucks? passion iced tea. no matter how cold it is! 22 - What’s your biggest secret? i have many. ask me and i might tell you. 23 - Favorite color? teal, lavender, black, maroon, blue 24 - Do you still watch kiddie shows or tv shows? hell yeahhhhhhh 25 - What’s on your walls? nothing at the moment. i never unpacked my wall decorations since school started. lol. 26 - What are you? what are YOU? 27 - Do you speak any other language? cantonese, taishanese 28 - What’s your favorite smell? i have many 29 - Describe your life in one word: twisted 30 - Have you ever kissed in the rain? nope 31 - What are you thinking about right now? how badly i want it to be winter break and christmassssss 33 - What should you be doing? studying for my last final. making xmas cards. 34 - Who was the last person that made you upset/angry? parents and how stingy they are *sigh* 35 - How often do you talk to God? kind of complicated to explain XD 36 - Do you like working in the yard? not really. i do like being outdoors though. 37 - If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want? Ng is pretty awesome :) 38 - Do you act differently around the person you like? not really. anything different is only because i have butterflies in my tummy. wahhhh XD 39 - What is your natural hair color? black 40 - Who was the last person to make you cry? ahem